And They Lived Happily Ever After

(From the book, “Sapiens”, Harari)

Philosophers, priests and poets have brooded over the nature of happiness for millennia, and many have concluded that social, ethical and spiritual factors have as great an impact on our happiness as material conditions.

The generally accepted definition of happiness is ‘subjective well-being’. Happiness, according to this view, is something I feel inside myself, a sense of either immediate pleasure or long-term contentment with the way my life is going.

Another interesting finding is that illness decreases in the short term, but is a source on long-term distress only if a person’s condition is constantly deteriorating or if the disease involves on-going and debilitating pain. People who are diagnosed with chronic illness such as diabetes are usually depressed for a while, but if the illness does not get worse they adjust to their new condition and rate their happiness as highly as healthy people do.

Family and community seem to have more impact on our happiness than money and health. People with strong families who live in tight-knit communities are significantly happier than people whose families are dysfunctional and who have never found (or never sought) a community to be part of.

The most important finding of all is that happiness does not really depend on objective conditions of wealth, health or even community. Rather, it depends on the relationship between what is real and what we think we desire. This is why winning the lottery has, over time, the same impact on people’s happiness as a debilitating car accident. When things improve, expectations balloon and consequently even dramatic improvements in objective conditions can leave us dissatisfied. When things deteriorate, expectations shrink, and consequently even a severe illness might leave you pretty much as happy as you were before. Happiness is determined by expectations.

As Nietzsche put it, if you have a ‘Why’ to live, you can bear almost any ‘How’. A meaningful life can be extremely satisfying even in the midst of hardship, whereas a meaningless life is a terrible ordeal no matter how comfortable it is.

The aim of Buddhist meditation is to stop craving fleeting pleasure. Live in the present moment instead of what might have been.

Yuval Noah Harari wrote this delicious description of happiness in his book, Sapiens. As I devoured Harari’s words, I thought of us in the brain injury world struggling to make it through the day. Are our expectations set too high? What new purposes have we discovered? Have we established a community around us for support? Are our paths meaningful, full of love and kindness? Are our lives visible and bright in addition to our hardships? At brainstormforbrainjury.com we help provide answers and support for our brain injury family.